Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

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It’s been a huge week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own first part pertains to united states via xojane, the women’s web site headed right up by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(i am significant) of




Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece falls under the “it simply happened in my experience” element that also existed at JANE journal and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting personal experiences.

The anonymous composer of this piece, who I’ll contact “Ariel,” is clearly bisexual, but because she easily provides hit jobs to the woman male partners but does not date or usually go lower on females, the woman is, she describes, theoretically, merely a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She in addition means by herself as “mostly right” and “straight” at different factors during the narrative.) The woman reputation began, she describes, when the woman very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke called Kelly at her school — transpired on the for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it right after which immediately fled the world fearing her own inability to execute this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted duration.

She produces:

“not surprisingly, phrase had gotten around that she and I also had connected and this I would kept this lady holding, which had the peculiar effectation of providing me folk-heroine condition. Kelly known as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I found myself one. It had been like some kind of movie conceit the spot where the hero is actually seen erroneously as a high profile and extends to ride in a limo and remain in a fancy resort for the reason that it.”

This it seems that entirely resolved in her support, as she romped about in college hooking up with many “aggressive types which got down about idea that I happened to be unwilling to leave a lady touch me personally.” Post-college, she managed to move on towards the internet, where she advertised this lady comfortable position and frequently found up with girls for NSA sex.

Near the end she problematically describes that when setting up with a female she is not interested in, she simply shuts her vision and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it appears like she wants females to eat the woman away even though they are allegedly much better at it than guys are. She


go lower to them but “I’m not matchmaking all of them, and that I do not think i’d wish to have my fetish corrupted by taking care of someone adequate to surrender.”

I wouldnot want to stay next to Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided sexual encounters tend to be consensual and she’s simply telling a true tale of her life, therefore I’m certainly not certain what things to label of this (and I’m interested to understand what you make from it, if such a thing).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Project
) we now have
I hitched a Lesbian (And I’m a man)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended in order to get crushes on the same variety of woman: the star basketball user, the soccer onward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some were not.” He wondered:

The facts that received me many times to women that happened to be same-sex lured? It certainly was not the stereotypical male dream regarding what they certainly were carrying out in bed, and it definitely had nothing in connection with a macho perception that i possibly could change a gay girl straight.

In areas, the portion (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me personally with this estimate from

The Girls Next-door

that I cited in a write-up about feminine maleness

“…if we’d to help make another generalization about lesbian flavor, it would be that a lot of you are incredibly drawn to women, gay or straight, breathtaking or not, exactly who look just as if they’re able to care for on their own.”

The author eventually marries a lesbian exactly who presented as right, and he found their particular causing sex-life getting unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him hit jobs and did not enjoy entrance but cheerfully accepted their choices of cunnilingus. When their own sexless relationship ended in divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he could be apparently compassionate to his ex-wife’s battle in place of marking the woman as misleading (as numerous on the commenters carry out):

She had originate from a conservative family who would have now been significantly embarrassed getting a gay youngster. She may also have understood, but did her far better conceal it, probably hoping that the woman feelings might change. Or she might-have-been like lots of ladies i have understood, and only found the woman genuine sexual identification after currently getting married to a man.

What exactly is redeeming relating to this article for me that the author’s conception of his or her own sex is generally free from the standard male posturing any might count on in a bit like this (the guy also relates to themselves as “femmy”). Perhaps it really seems that means because men thus seldom write about hoping strong, sports, effective ladies with short-hair; but it is energizing nonetheless.

Really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their tales, but it is really worth pointing out that both narratives apparently drive on the idea that bedroom conduct may be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s business, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning indication” the guy missed, whenever entrance is actually hardly a specifically heterosexual work (it seems much more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of penetration with men she didn’t wish to get with, yet , who knows) and falling in love, in the end, is approximately your own pussy but it is also regarding the cardiovascular system and it is primarily about having enchanting emotions. Those enchanting emotions are just what transforms a hook-up connection into a relationship, after all.

At long last at

there is a sweet story right from pony’s mouth area —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I believe this is basically the very first time the “First Time” series provides included a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth level, the writer confessed to the woman closest friend that she had lesbian feelings on her behalf, and her companion reciprocated, and so they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian connection and they are still together now and the woman is a grown-up into the army!

This indicates they will have but to get their unique commitment outside of the closet, that’s quite puzzling, but whatever

. [


: works out this tale was actually written before DADT was repealed, although it just adopted posted, therefore nothing is puzzling occurring right here. This is just straight-up sweet in just about every method, unequivocally.]

The focus with the part (that will be extremely adorable and sweet) is found on the writer’s discovery of
what lesbian intercourse is quite

We’d never come down on every other, and that I ended up being convinced that is what we might meant as soon as we said we desired to have sexual intercourse. (today we understand that absolutely more to fucking than licking a female’s vagina and contacting it each and every day.)

She concludes:

I know that the majority of people differ in what virginity way to a homosexual woman, but virginity is completely subjective, plus it actually relies on whom you’re asking. Many people might state penetration needs to be involved, but In my opinion it is around the person losing his or her virginity. Easily feel i have lost my personal virginity, next goddammit, We have!

I spent all the early morning and afternoon staring at word press, trying to figure out exactly what point i really could create about some of these pieces. I thought loads about the reason we’d never release “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject website but cannot see through the explanation that I would worry 50 people would vow to never return here in addition to remaning many-thousands people would fight with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure until the temperature loss of the market. We envisioned some body distributing “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to you via email following I thought the article conference in which we might can that story as well as say “NO” concurrently.

In seeking a spot to gleam because of these tales, I’ve attempted to determine what might imagine or say, and that I can not, and I also need to complete this article as quickly as possible to accelerate the process of myself finding-out how you feel about these stories. Yup, the very first time since starting Autostraddle, I’ve got no idea what you should say about anything. So perhaps i will simply ask you — what is actually the response to these pieces?

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